LIRR

The Fail Road Is Clueless (Again)….

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Once again, the morons that run the Fail Road prove that they are utterly clueless about the needs of their customers. In their infinite wisdom, they have decided to make Martin Luther King, Jr. Day a “holiday” and run trains on a modified holiday schedule. This means that instead of the regular weekday schedule, I will have to get on the 6:50 am train. The next train will be at 8:50am.

What the fuck? That is total bullshit.

Besides the fact that it’s a regular workday for me, it is also a regular workday for hundreds of thousands of others. Why would the Fail Road run on such a schedule for MLK day? Last time I checked, the employees get enough time off. Let them earn their money. Does the Fail Road think because there’s a holiday that everything just shuts down?

The reason why the Fail Road did this is because they are fucking clueless. And, I bet is has something to do with the fucking unions and their bullshit rules regarding days off and other garbage. With all the benefits the employees are fucking us up the ass for (which are extorted via “negotiations”) I would think they days off that are received in a private entity should be forfeited. All days off except the “major” holidays such as New Year’s Day, July 4h, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Christmas and Thanksgiving. They should do this because they WORK FOR THE PUBLIC. And, as such, they should be available to SERVE THE PUBLIC.

Once again, we hard working Fail Road riders have been shat upon. Send emails and complaints to the LIRR. Let them know how wrong they are. They work for US goddamnit.

This is us, the Fail Road rider, shit upon once again:

Bags, Bags Everywhere

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What is the obsession that some people have with massive bags? Huge pocketbooks….massive bags slung over their shoulders, those fucking rolling suitcases, plastic bags that look like tarps with handles…and why must they bring all of these on the fucking train?

I have nothing against any kind of (briefcase, gym or old bag). What I don’t like is why certain people feel their bag should cause the latest bruise on your foot or almost knock you upside the head.

Let’s use this morning as an example: I get off the train at Penn….there’s the usual asshole with one of those fucking rolling cases walking slow directly in front of me. I try to get around this asshole, and they change directions, running over my foot. I actually kicked the bag, told them to be careful. The asshole said, “sorry, I’m late”. FUUUCK YOUUU!

So then I finally go up the big stairs on by tracks 18&19 and what do I see? ANOTHER asshole with not one but TWO ROLLING CASES. What the fuck!? Of course, this fucker is walking as slow as shit (like the other few hundred people around me). Luckily, he didn’t run over my foot, he got the guy next to me. What is it with these assholes and their sudden urge to change directions? Why can’t they walk as fast as they change directions? Morons…

Finally, I get to the escalators at the 34th street entrance. This is always fun. There’s always some fucker with a bag over their shoulder with no regard for who is behind them. Of course, there’s a fucker in front of me with a Dell bag. He get a call on his cell. Lookout! Almost hits me in the head. I wanted to unzip something so it would fall out as he’s walking across 34th. Fuck his computer, so what he loses all his porn. But I didn’t, I was feeling nice this morning.

It is like this almost every fucking morning. When will these people learn that this is unacceptable? Would they like it if I ran over their feet? Or almost whacked them in the head with my laptop bag? Or if I slowed down to a snail’s pace because I have so much shit in my fucking bag that I can’t even drag it ON IT’S FUCKING WHEELS? No, they would not like it.

Pull your head out of your asses people. Wake the fuck up.

Bullet Train vs. Silver Slug

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I had a day off today to take care of some family things, so I didn’t take my beloved Fail Road. I know, it’s so depressing. In my time away from my most preferred mode of transportation, I had some time to think. What I thought about most was how long my trip takes. There is no way in hell that a distance of 22 miles should take an hour, especially when you’re in a train.

Why does it take so long? There are many reasons (or so I have been told). There are not enough “slots” meaning space for the trains on the existing track space. The system has a lot of bottlenecks. If one train is a little late passing through one of these critical areas, it throws all the others behind it off-schedule. Another excuse (I mean reason) is the slow crawl through Jamaica. Yet another excuse is the the fact that there aren’t enough tunnels.

I am sure you are saying, “that’s a lot of excuses, what are they doing about it”…the answer is nothing (yet). There are plans to overhaul Jamaica to straighten the tracks, create a “flyover”, etc. Editorial Story Story

By the time this actually happens, I’ll either be dead, have kids, or both. This is all wishful thinking on the MTA/Fail Road. This is an organization that can’t get a fucking train to run on time for a week. You want us to think you can literally rip apart your hub and fix all that’s wrong with it with no problems and delays? If it’s done by 2020 we’ll be lucky.

And now we get to the Bullet Train…I mean Metro North. If I am travelling from Poughkeepsie, for example, the average time to get to Grand Central is about 1 hr and 40 mins. Poughkeepsie is also about 85 miles from New York City. 85 FUCKING MILES!!! I am about 22 miles from the city and my trip is almost ONE HOUR. Does that make any sense? If Metro North followed the Fail Road’s lead, it would eventually take someone in Poughkeepsie 4 FUCKING HOURS to get home. Someone please tell me why this is so.

It’s because the Fail Road can’t get their shit together. There is LESS service now than ever before. That means less trains. It also means LONGER TRIPS for us. Metro North on the other hand, knows how to run a transit operation. You can justify it by saying they’re “4 tracked” all the way up, bla bla bla…whatever. If they really wanted to speed things up, they would. They just don’t care about their customers.

Oh well. They don’t care yet we still take the train like good sheeple because we have jobs to get to. Yeah, we could drive, but that means the Fail Road employees would have to do even less. I want you to earn your pensions. Better yet, have some Fail Road management ride our trains for a week, I bet you things would change, and fast.

Baaaaaaa…..

Run Forrest Run!!!…Run!! FASTER!!!!

plfailroad, , , , , Leave a comment

What is it with the people who feel they need to run by you to get to the train while it’s still on the platform? This happens to me (and others at my station) at least 2-3 times a week.

Sometimes, I get to the parking lot a bit later than I should in the mornings (about 3-4 mins before the train leaves). By the time I walk from the lot to the station platform to the train there’s maybe a minute to spare until the train leaves. I admit I cut it close.

But, there’s always someone whose watch is 2-3 minutes fast that feels compelled to run through people as if they were doing a Tiki Barber impersonation. Yeah, I know, Tiki’s a bum…but that’s for another blog 😉 And, when I mean “run through” people…I mean with arms flailing, wielding their briefcase like it’s a club. Nine times out of ten it’s a woman. I find this particularly funny as many of them can’t even walk at a normal pace with their heels and collection of two or three heavy bags (what the hell is in there anyway?). Yet, they are attempting to run full speed down a train platform to get to a train THAT HASN’T EVEN LEFT THE STATION YET.

Set your damn watches. Or, leave the house a few minutes earlier. Even if you get there a few seconds late (when the conductor is closing the doors) he won’t literally shut them in your face. He’ll wait. (If I was the conductor, I wouldn’t, but there are nice people left in the world.)
Just the other day, on Monday morning, I’m on the platform, walking up to the train and I hear the telltale “clip clop” of heels. I am nearing the door and the next thing I hear is “hold the doors!”. On instinct, I move to the left and let this woman go. I should have told her she had at least two minutes to spare. I could have but she would not have heard me. I could have yelled “FREE SHOES!” and she wouldn’t have heard. She lunges through the door and gets to her seat. There’s still about a minute until the train leaves. I get to my seat, take out my pass…the doors close and we push off.

When I got up to change at Jamaica, I passed by the woman’s seat. She was sleeping. Go figure….in such a rush, to get nowhere.

Invalids on the Stairs

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I would like the thank the morons on the steps going down to Penn that made me late for the 5:04 today. Yeah I left the office late, yeah there was a crowd of people to push through and all that other crap. If not for these gimps on the steps, I could have made that train.

Why are people so goddamn stupid? If you can’t wal
k normally, THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING THE GODDAMN STAIRS….TAKE THE GODDAMN ESCALATOR!!! What the hell are you trying to prove? That you can hold up almost a hundred of your fellow commuters? That you can make a lot of people angry? That you can make people late?
There must 50 or 60 steps on that staircase. It’s hard for people who can walk NORMALLY. What the hell are you morons doing there? If you can’t even walk STRAIGHT or you have a goddamn CANE….YOU SHOULDN’T BE ANYWHERE NEAR THE FUCKING STEPS.
Next time I see one of these old bags, I swear I will throw th
em down the steps. It’ll take care of two things at once. And, I won’t be late for my train.
No I won’t leave earlier. I was held up because the elevator in my building took a half hour to get to my floor. On top of that there was the usual lead feet on 7th avenue who act like they have NEVER SEEN A TALL BUILDING IN THEIR LIVES. MOVE OVER YOU ASSHOLES!!!! People have better things to do than walk around you.
On my shit list:
– Tourists
– Old People
– Slow people
– Stupid people
– Cellphones
– BlackBerries
– Fail Road Management

The Fail Road’s Reply To My Complaint

plfailroad, , , , , , , 1 Comment


My complaint:
Customer (Phil….) – 08/15/2007 06:56 AM
Does anyone know why the 7:45 Jamaica-Penn “express” was held for 15
minutes today at Jamaica? The train arrived at 7:50 (5 mins late in
the real world). Just before it arrived, the 7:45 to FBA (my train
from WH) was last called and left. No announcements made about it
being late, nothing.

So the 7:45 arrives and we sheeple get on…and it sits there. After
a few minutes, we saw important looking Fail Road types with walkie
talkies squawking, shiny badges, serious looks and walking down the
platform as if their feet were stuck in gooey glue.

There was meeting of the brains around the 8th car (these serious
Fail Road types and the crew). And still, no announcement. But
wait! There’s a train on track 4! It says Penn Station! That’s the
train I wanna be on! Now there’s a steady trail of morons running
out of the train to track 4. What they didn’t notice was that it was
a “No passengers” train. I heard someone say, “maybe they’ll stop
here and help us”. HAHAHAHAAH!!! You are so naive lady. Said morons
file back into train. There were other trains that arrived like the
7:53, but by the time it was announced and I ran down the platform up
the steps (with the leadfeet) and down the steps again, I would have
missed it).

So, it’s now about 8:05, the meeting outside the train is still
ongoing. I wonder what they’re speaking about? Astrophysics, the
Mets, the Yankees, where to go for lunch?

A lady by the door then asks a collector if we’re leaving soon and he
says, “yeah, we are”. She goes, “now”? He says, “whenever we feel
like leaving” NICE!

So we finally leave, no announcement, no apology, Nothing. Tickets
weren’t even taken. If they were, there would only be shreds of the
collectors uniforms left.

Total travesty. How come there was no announcement made? How come
we were held there for so long. What was the problem?

I was 10 minutes late. While I do not punch a time card, it would be
nice to know what the problem was this time. I didn’t see any rain,
or snow. Could it have been “switch problems” or the usual shoddy
service we have come to know from the FAIL ROAD.
You have a lot of work ahead of you, Ms. Williams…..it’s been
broken since 1834.

Their Reply:
Subject
—————————————————————
Why Was the 7:45 “Express” to Penn From Jamaica Held for 15 minutes
on 8/14?

Discussion Thread
—————————————————————
Response (Jennifer Uihlein) – 08/28/2007 03:05 PM
Dear Mr. L:

Thank you for your e-mail. Please accept my apologies for your
dissatisfaction with the service provided on August 14, 2007. We
recognize that effective communication with our employees and
customers is essential, and on that end, we regret that we did not
meet those needs. As information, on the date you referenced, the
train scheduled to depart Jamaica at 7:45 AM and arrive at Penn
Station was delayed in Locust Manor due to an ill passenger. The
customer was removed upon arrival at Jamaica Station.

I appreciate your understanding in this matter and hope that your
future travels are more satisfactory in nature.

Sincerely,

J. Uihlein
Editorial Officer
Public Affairs

If this response did not address your e-mail, use the Send E-mail
button.

Question Reference #070815-000005
—————————————————————
MTA Service: Long Island Rail Road
Sub-Product: Penn Station & Western Terminals
Category: Complaint
Date Created: 08/15/2007 06:56 AM
Last Updated: 08/28/2007 03:05 PM
Status: Closed
Date/Time of Event: 08/14/2007 07:45 AM

Location of Event
—————————————————————
Jamaica Station

My comment:
Next time, just tell us that the train is being delayed for whatever reason. Don’t just leave us hanging there.
Typical. What else should we expect. I bet the passenger was sick because of the shit service.