FailRoad

Slip-Slide

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It’s fall. The weather is getting cooler. The leaves are starting to fall. That means problems because of “slip slide”. If it’s as bad as it was last year, we are in trouble.

As we were rolling in this morning, through the rain, I noticed the leaves were starting to change color. This means, soon they’ll start falling. Then they will wind up on the tracks…where the trains will run over them, causing “slip slide” conditions. The results are flat wheels and cars that are out of service. That also means short trains and a return to the rolling sardine cans of last fall/winter. Last year, this was a pain in the ass. It seemed like every train was short at least 2 cars. I heard there were some trains short FOUR CARS!!! Typical Fail Road.

Since the leaves cannot be controlled, one would hope the Fail Road fixed their “system” so that if a car has to be taken out of service, it’s not out of service for what feels like 2 months. Hopefully the “clear cut” campaign is successful and this doesn’t happen as much this year.
However, this is the Fail Road we’re talking about. If the same thing as last year occurs, it would not surprise me at all.

Friday’s Crap…

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Not a good day on the Fail Road. There are no good days on the Fail Road, but this one was one of the worst in the last month. Let’s start from this morning and work our way to the afternoon.

This morning, I had to take the 7:36, which goes directly to Penn. Not bad, right? Single seat, all the way in…Wrong. I could have taken the 7:17, but I was held up by some gardener’s truck down my block that couldn’t figure out how to make a fucking 3-point turn. I could have turned around, but by the time I got down the block and made a left onto the avenue…I would have been late.

I finally get past the truck when I’m once again stonewalled by the beloved school buses I wrote about the other day. By this time it’s already 7:15 and I know I’m gonna be late. So, I just say “Fuck it…just get to the damn station”.

I get to the station around 7:17. I park in the lot…I wait for a little bit because they don’t open the doors of the train until 7:25 some days. I get to the platform around 7:20…the train is ready, waiting, BEGGING for us to take a seat so it can get on with its only duty in life, to transport us, the riding public. But wait! The doors are closed. The lights on the side of the train are flashing…someone is doing a brake test! Oh shit! I look at the guy next to me, he says “Brake test”….I say…”we’re gonna be late”, he nods. These are probably the same nods exchanged between prisoners against a wall preparing for death by firing squad. Then, we hear an announcement…”The 7:36 to Penn Station stopping at *bla bla bla*…will be operating with fewer cars today, please move to the center of the platform to board”….Fewer cars? We see eight! Let us on!

Finally, we see a Fail Road member, in a hoodie…laughing merrily along the platform. Definitely a crew member, paid by the hour…gotta love those Unions, eh? Someone asks him the obvious, “Is the train cancelled?”…we hear “In a minute!”…Yeah…will we know the train’s status in a minute? Will you answer us in a minute? Do you not give a shit?

Then, the rear two cars get unhooked and are pushed farther down to the end of the track. The remaining six cars are inched up more and go through more “brake tests”. Finally, it’s about 7:
It’s now about 7:30. Still more brake tests. Finally! The doors open! But no explanation as to why the short train.

We get on. We sit there until about 7:42. Are we waiting for any passing trains? What the fuck are we waiting for? No answers, nothing. At least we left.

Since this was a 6 car (6 fucking car) train direct train to Penn, it was crowded by the time we picked up the Westwood passengers. By the time we got to Jamaica, it was like a sardine can. We got to Jamaica late (what else to expect?). We finally arrive at Penn around 8:37 instead of 8:29. No, “sorry we’re late” announcements. I finally arrive at the office around 8:50 (once I negotiated the Pedestrian Spam of 7th Avenue)….

And this was only the morning.

I left on the 4:19, a double-decker (see left). It goes to Port Jeff…change at Jamaica for home. The fun begins at Penn. I see suitcases! Big ones! Rolling ones! Big ones being pulled by small people! Shit! The next thing I know, there’s some Indian woman blathering away on her cellphone and she drags this 1000lb. rolling case into the train. Keep in mind from Penn to Jamaica I usually stand in a vestibule because a) I can’t be bothered to fight for a seat, I’ll leave that to the rest of the idiots, and b) the seats are uncomfortable…I’ve been sitting all day anyway, I’ll stretch my legs. So, this woman parks her rolling case right in the middle of the vestibule. If anyone was coming up the steps or into the train, they would have fallen over this case. Also, the damn thing is blocking me because her goddamn cell phone conversation is so fucking interesting, I am invisible. I look at her as to say, “move the goddamn case, it’s in the way and not in a good spot”…she ignores me. Oh well. She’s still talking on the phone and making funny faces and waving down to the lower level where her kid and husband are sitting. Nice.

Then, more people came on with even bigger bags (and tried to stuff them into the overheads). I wish I had a camera. You fucking morons! Please, please Fail Road, BAN THESE LARGE SUITCASES FROM THE TRAIN OR FORCE PEOPLE WHO BRING THEM ON TO PAY A “PENALTY”. They are dangerous, take up space and have no place on a train. If your case is bigger than you…..YOU NEED TO BRING LESS SHIT AND YOU NEED TO CALL A CAB, IT DOESN’T BELONG ON A FUCKING TRAIN.

We finally get to Jamaica and I change for the train home. It’s supposed to arrive at 5:06…it arrives at 5:13. Late again. No announcement, no apology. This train has been late the last 5 times I have taken it. I take it about once every two weeks. Sometimes less.

Why can’t the Fail Road just get it right? Just once? Just get it right, please?

Thanks Fail Road. And thanks to the assholes who ride it, bring in your furniture next time. Have a great weekend.
My time wasted by the Fail Road this week, 45 minutes….

President Williams Writes to Newsday….

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The esteemed Fail Road President, Helena Williams had a letter published in Newsday today. Her letter was in response to an essay a reader submitted which called for the Fail Road to have “quiet cars” on each train where cellphone use is prohibited.

Here it is:
“Counting on riders to be considerate recent essay raised the possibility of “quiet cars” on Long Island Rail Road trains [“A little peace and quiet, please!” Opinion, Oct. 19]. After studying the “quiet car” concept, the LIRR came to the same conclusion as other busy commuter railroads in our region: It would be difficult, if not impossible, to enforce. Some of our peak rush- hour trains exceed our own standee limits. Commuters on rush-hour trains know that finding a seat can be a challenge. Asking customers to find the “right” car for cell phone use at a crowded station places an undue burden on them. Enforcement of quiet-car rules would lead to delays while trains are held at stations to permit police to resolve disputes.The LIRR will launch a renewed Customer Courtesy Campaign with courtesy announcements at stations, terminals and on board trains, and courtesy reminders published in our monthly customer newsletter. The LIRR will ask all customers to be considerate of their fellow travelers via the new Penn Station message boards by asking customers to limit cell-phone use to essential calls, keep conversations brief, speak in a low voice, set ringers on vibrate and move to the vestibule for long conversations; also to keep feet off seats and to store luggage and bags on overhead racks, not on seats.I believe in, and am counting on, the common sense and the common courtesy of our customers.
Helena E. Williams
Editor’s note: The writer is president of the Long Island Rail Road.
Jamaica

Bla bla bla. The riders don’t have common sense. If they did, you wouldn’t need the “Clean Train Campaign” announcements. You also wouldn’t need those other announcements about cellphone use and keeping feet off the seats. I thought the Fail Road was supposed to have the most “intelligent”, affluent and “high class” riders of a commuter rail road in the country. Apparently this is not the case. They’re just a bunch of gavones.
I agree that a “quiet car” is probably not the best solution to this issue. It’s just not possible. What if people want to get to the “quiet car”…and it’s all the way down the platform? People won’t get in then walk down. They’ll run down the platform, causing delays, etc.

The only solution is to ban cellphone use outright or allow the conductors become “enforcers” and tell people to keep quiet if their behavior gets out of hand with their cell phones.

What’s the big deal with people and their phones? JUST SHUT UP!

More of the same today…

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Looks like I picked a good day for a day off. Delays due to the “cold weather” caused chaos. And, there were plenty of shorty trains according to our friends over at the LIRR Commuters Group .

It’s not even winter yet, and we have to deal with this bullshit. I can only imagine how bad it will be once we are really in winter. Is it too much to ask the Fail Road to get their shit together for once? I think I speak for most commuters of the Fail Road when I say all we want for Christmas is to get home on time for a full week, 5 days, is that too much?