One of these days, just one of these days, the Fail Road will get it right…
Every night, when I change trains at Jamaica, there’s a fiasco. I get off the 5:04 from Penn (to Hempstead) to get on my train to WH. The 5:04 arrives on track 8…the WH train is on Track 7. There’s also a transfer to Port Jefferson on track 6. The WH train on track 7 can be used as a bridge to track 6. Sounds simple enough right? If you have to take the PJ train, just walk across the platform…simple…wrong.
Instead, what happens every night is just short of a stampede. The PJ train arrives on track 6…the WH on track 7, the Hempstead on track 8. So, if you need to go track 6 just walk through the train on track 7….But no, instead, the sheeple get off the train, WALK UP OR DOWN THE PLATFORM, then find a door THEN WALK THROUGH THE TRAIN. Wouldn’t it just be easier to just walk DIRECTLY across the goddamn platform? Of course not. Not only is the Fail Road run by assholes, but 90% of its riders are assholes as well. Why do things right when you can do them ass-backward?
On top of all that, there are sheeple waiting to get on the Hempstead train who crowd the fucking doors like they’re giving away food at a refugee camp in Africa. And, there’s the usual drunks milling around the bar cart and more people running THROUGH the WH train on track 7 to transfer to the Hempstead train on track 8. Some nights it resembles a cluster fuck of humanity.
It gets better. With all of this going on, there are still trains that have to leave. The train on track 7 has it’s doors opened on both sides. Keep in mind there are people running all over the place. More than likely you’ll hear one of the “voices of Jamaica” proclaim “last call for the train to WH”…and the sheeple start scrambling. Yet, the conductor only pokes his head out the window. The voice starts again…”last call….”…more scrambling, sometimes there are people yelling “HOLD THE DOORS OPEN!”….but the doors never closed. On top of all this, there’s always some idiot who stops dead on the platform, IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING DOORS WITH A SUITCASE staring at the overhead signs asking people IS THIS THE PAWT JEFFUHSON TRAIN? No it’s not you dumb bitch, is that track 6, can’t you hear the fucking announcements? Get out of my way, I have a train to get on….
My question is: do the idiots making the announcements know what the hell is going on down on the platforms? They can see what’s going on from their room on the platform where they hide (I mean work). How much longer does this have to go on? I keep saying it’s the “little things” the Fail Road should concentrate on. This is one of them.
The solution? Don’t give the last call announcement until the train is ready to leave. The train doesn’t leave for up to three minutes sometimes after the “last call” announcement is made. And, make it only once, about a minute before the train leaves. It would make things much easier and ease the pandemonium at the platform.
Of course, the solution is too simple. If you ask the Fail Road nitwits about this, first they’ll say, “we’ll look into it”…then they’ll do nothing…then they’ll “investigate”…then they’ll hire a consultant (with a huge fee) who’ll tell them almost exactly what I proposed (with a lot more fancy words)…and then they’ll say they will change things at Jamaica…but instead go back to their old ways.
Why change things, you’ve already got us by the balls….
LIFE ON THE FAIL ROAD 
