The Ghost Conductor Strikes Again

plfailroad, , , , , Leave a comment

This morning, I was reminded once again why the Fail Road employees are government employees. Apparently, it’s too hard for the conductors to say “tickets please” as they walk through the cars.

This morning, I’m standing in my usual spot in the vestibule, reading the paper. I was not yapping into a cell phone or hypnotized by a Crackberry or spaced out from an iPod. As I am reading, I see someone staring at me from the reflection of the glass in the door. Does he say “tickets please”? No. He still stares. So, I don’t move. I’m waiting for government employee ignoramus to say something. After about a minute, I turn towards the center of the car and show Mr. Funny Hat my ticket. He walks away.

Is it that hard to say “tickets please” as you are walking through the car? Maybe it needs to be written into their Union contracts. You’d think they’d want to check tickets as fast as they could so they could rush back into their little cubby holes and hide.

Lazy bastards. Would saying something be too physically taxing?

The train car as dressing room

plfailroad, , , , , Leave a comment

Hey assholes…the train car is not your fucking dressing room. There is no reason why you should block the aisles because you need to button your massive coat or pile on the layers and the scarf and the hat.

It gets cold here, but it’s not the fucking arctic circle.

Keep your coat on in the train, put your scarf in your briefcase or take it off and hold it. Put your gloves in your pocket.

There’s no need to block people. The train aisle is not a fucking runway or dressing room. Nobody cares about you. AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY. You know who you are.

The Fail Road Is Clueless (Again)….

plfailroad, , , , Leave a comment

Once again, the morons that run the Fail Road prove that they are utterly clueless about the needs of their customers. In their infinite wisdom, they have decided to make Martin Luther King, Jr. Day a “holiday” and run trains on a modified holiday schedule. This means that instead of the regular weekday schedule, I will have to get on the 6:50 am train. The next train will be at 8:50am.

What the fuck? That is total bullshit.

Besides the fact that it’s a regular workday for me, it is also a regular workday for hundreds of thousands of others. Why would the Fail Road run on such a schedule for MLK day? Last time I checked, the employees get enough time off. Let them earn their money. Does the Fail Road think because there’s a holiday that everything just shuts down?

The reason why the Fail Road did this is because they are fucking clueless. And, I bet is has something to do with the fucking unions and their bullshit rules regarding days off and other garbage. With all the benefits the employees are fucking us up the ass for (which are extorted via “negotiations”) I would think they days off that are received in a private entity should be forfeited. All days off except the “major” holidays such as New Year’s Day, July 4h, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Christmas and Thanksgiving. They should do this because they WORK FOR THE PUBLIC. And, as such, they should be available to SERVE THE PUBLIC.

Once again, we hard working Fail Road riders have been shat upon. Send emails and complaints to the LIRR. Let them know how wrong they are. They work for US goddamnit.

This is us, the Fail Road rider, shit upon once again:

What’s this….

plfailroadLeave a comment

I’m back. I’ll try to be a little more frequent with my entries. I know that I have a few stalkers/fans/assholes who read this and look forward to my posts. You know who you are. Bunch of sorry bastards you are…

I enjoy reading your comments too. Keep them coming. It makes me feel worthy, like someone is actually reading this. And click on the ads. *click click click* Like those fucking clickers you carry, you stalkers.

Thieves

plfailroad, , , Leave a comment

It’s official. My years of “speculation” have been confirmed. Fail Road employees are thieves. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, those “hard working, honest and *cough* dependable” Fail Road employees are THIEVES.

I knew this all along. Not only are they emptying our pockets by accepting their paychecks, but it gets better for them as they seem to get full disability for a hang nail.

Throw them all in jail. Maybe they can work on their golf swings in jail, fucking morons.

If any one of you assholes disgarees with me, you don’t have a leg to stand on. Look at the facts. This only proves that you morons don’t show up every day because you like what you do. You’re only in it for the perks. And, we pay.

ENOUGH!

Bags, Bags Everywhere

plfailroad, , , , Leave a comment

What is the obsession that some people have with massive bags? Huge pocketbooks….massive bags slung over their shoulders, those fucking rolling suitcases, plastic bags that look like tarps with handles…and why must they bring all of these on the fucking train?

I have nothing against any kind of (briefcase, gym or old bag). What I don’t like is why certain people feel their bag should cause the latest bruise on your foot or almost knock you upside the head.

Let’s use this morning as an example: I get off the train at Penn….there’s the usual asshole with one of those fucking rolling cases walking slow directly in front of me. I try to get around this asshole, and they change directions, running over my foot. I actually kicked the bag, told them to be careful. The asshole said, “sorry, I’m late”. FUUUCK YOUUU!

So then I finally go up the big stairs on by tracks 18&19 and what do I see? ANOTHER asshole with not one but TWO ROLLING CASES. What the fuck!? Of course, this fucker is walking as slow as shit (like the other few hundred people around me). Luckily, he didn’t run over my foot, he got the guy next to me. What is it with these assholes and their sudden urge to change directions? Why can’t they walk as fast as they change directions? Morons…

Finally, I get to the escalators at the 34th street entrance. This is always fun. There’s always some fucker with a bag over their shoulder with no regard for who is behind them. Of course, there’s a fucker in front of me with a Dell bag. He get a call on his cell. Lookout! Almost hits me in the head. I wanted to unzip something so it would fall out as he’s walking across 34th. Fuck his computer, so what he loses all his porn. But I didn’t, I was feeling nice this morning.

It is like this almost every fucking morning. When will these people learn that this is unacceptable? Would they like it if I ran over their feet? Or almost whacked them in the head with my laptop bag? Or if I slowed down to a snail’s pace because I have so much shit in my fucking bag that I can’t even drag it ON IT’S FUCKING WHEELS? No, they would not like it.

Pull your head out of your asses people. Wake the fuck up.

I See Slow People….

plfailroad, , , , Leave a comment

…all around me, all over the place, in my way, pissing me off…

What is it with you people who walk like fucking turtles? Is there something medically wrong with you? What’s your fuckin‘ deal? Do you need an incentive to move your asses?

I would like to say that this is only true for the tourists, but it’s not. If it was mainly the tourists, I’d let it slide. They’re tourists, they don’t know any better. However, there’s no excuse for New Yorkers to be like this.

Every morning, while walking to my office, I feel like a running back dodging these assholes. It’s a constant stream of assholes looking at their cellphones, staring at buildings, bullshitting on their cellphones, bullshitting with someone else, holding fucking hands with their wives/girlfriends/mistress, whoever. And, there’s my all-time favorite asshole: The one who receives a call on their cellphone and immediately stops dead in his tracks. Can’t these fuckers walk and talk at the same time? Apparently it’s too taxing on their pea-brains.

Perhaps they’d move their asses if there were $50 bills hanging from the “Don’t Walk” signs. Maybe they’d move a little faster if there were announcements saying “the faster you cross the street, you get a free coffee from Starbucks…”. Whatever it is, something needs to be done.

I forgot to mention that it gets ever worse when it rains. Apparently the combination of rain and umbrellas renders the part of brain that controls motor movements completely useless. Not that the rest of their brains actually did something…but you get the picture.

I also have found that people seem to walk slower in the mornings than they do in the afternoons. Why is that? Wouldn’t you want to get to your job faster so that you spend LESS time there? Take your time walking home. It’s almost as if they don’t want to go to their jobs. Someone should tell these assholes that without their fucking jobs, there’s no more fancy umbrellas, cellphones, Starbucks coffee and the other bullshit things they equate with their supposed intelligence and success.
MOVE YOUR ASSES YOU LAZY BASTARDS!

The Chatty Conductor

plfailroadLeave a comment

Once in a while, on the 5:56 to WH, there’s a conductor who is just a little too chatty on his announcements. Instead of just hearing the usual “this train stops at…” and “watch the gap” announcements, we also get gardening tips, a critique of the Fail Road’s “no booze rule” on the Belmont Trains, a weekend activity guide, bad weather advisories and even gardening tips.

Dude, enough already. The last thing I want to hear on the way home after almost 9+ hours in the fucking office is your soliloquy on which flowers to plant in my garden or what to do this weekend. Just get me home and do your usual announcements with none of your bullshit.

Is this even allowed? I have no problem with something like “enjoy the beautiful weather and have a nice weekend”. Do we really need to be subjected to this garbage?

Case in point, the other day he did his usual announcement block…then finished with some words on the Belmont trains offered by the Fail Road for the day of the race. He informed that there would be no booze allowed on the trains. He also gave his opinion of the policy saying “you may not like it but that’s the rule…” THEN he said something like “well, you can get around that by having a few before you get on the train then buy some at the track because you know they’ll have it there”….I guess everyone is an alcoholic.

I’m not going to formally complain about this, it’s not worth getting someone in trouble over. I just wish this dude would keep his opinions to himself over the PA. If he wants to be a broadcaster, there are a lot of schools for that kind of thing.