It’s a recurring theme here. Children, strollers and the fucking parents with them who piss me off. Particularly on the subway and LIRR.
On December 30th, I was witness to a case that literally made me bite my tongue until it was bloody.
You’ll hear the details in the audio commentary.
Happy New Year bla bla fucking shit. It has come and it has gone. Big fucking deal. Who cares.
Is it possible that the whole midnight celebration thing is worn out? I’m over it. I never cared for it. What is the big fucking deal?
It confounds me when I hear people say “ohhh this new year will be so much better than the old one” yet they continue in their old ways. Nothing changes for them. They continue making the same mistakes and continue to complain as usual.
I have a theory as to why the midnight celebrations continue. Most people are drunks and they look for any excuse to drink. What better excuse than on a night where it seems 3/4 of western civilization is awake and waiting to “party” at the stroke of midnight.
Fuck this shit. Next year I’m going to bed at my usual time and waking up the day without any guilt or heavy conscience.
If you’re one of the millions of people who either bought a hoverboard or received one as a gift this holiday season, you’re an idiot. Why would anyone buy one of these? One look at these fucking things would give any NORMAL person pause because they look UNSAFE.
Yet, millions of parents gleefully gave these contraptions to their children as gifts. “Here son, let’s go outside later so I can record you breaking your arm on this thing!” What the fuck is wrong with people today?
Would you give your children a set of steak knives and say “Here kids! Have fun!” Of course not. So why the fuck would you idiots give them a hoverboard?!
I can care less. I don’t have kids and I don’t have a hoverboard. However, please keep posting the videos where people fall off the hoverboards or lose balance. Everyone needs something to laugh at. Just don’t get hurt too badly.
How can you people be so fucking stupid!?
Is it possible that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU BASTARDS WITH A FUCKING ROLLING SUITCASE MUST ROLL OVER MY FEET?
And all of you fucking shitheads with the massive backpacks need to be standing next to me on the train? I swear I want to push you fuckers off. You don’t belong there. You’re taking up 5 places. You’re annoying and you’re a fucking safety hazard. Get the fuck out!
Notice I haven’t even started on the fucking strollers. It’s too fucking early, young children shouldn’t be awake at that time. If you need to bring your fucking demon offspring onto the trains in their fucking stroller, PLEASE STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING TRAINS. I didn’t tell you to have the fucking kid. I should not have to suffer for your life choices. Stay towards the ends of the train cars where there is more room for your stupid fucking stroller and the other fucking bags you carry.
I haven’t forgotten you fuckers on the elevators. What the fuck is so important that YOU ARE ALWAYS ON YOUR FUCKING PHONES! Are you people not going to your fucking desks in two minutes? CAN YOU PLEASE PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE AWAY FOR THE 3 MINUTES YOU’RE IN THE FUCKING ELEVATOR? And what’s the deal with you fuckers who push your way in press a button for your floor and then don’t move away from the buttons? What the fuck is your fucking malfunction? You fucking idiots!
Last but not least, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. If you’re gonna stand near the fucking doors, DON’T BURY YOUR FUCKIN’ FACE IN YOUR GODDAMN PHONE AND ACT SURPRISED WHEN THE FUCKIN’ DOOR OPENS. I walk right through people like this. I don’t give a shit if it’s a man or woman. I walk right through these people as if they’re not even there. Fuck them, They’re garbage, They’re nothing. They are SHIT.
Please do us all a favor, stay the fuck home. Nobody fucking wants you in the way. Don’t even go out when it’s not rush hour. Just stay the fuck away from the rest of us. We don’t need you.
The weekend is drawing to a close and it’s the same old bullshit. People are whining that they have to go back to work on Monday. Or people complaining that their weekend time is done.
I have no sympathy. You can’t stop Monday from coming. Do people actually think that if they just ignore the passage of time that it Monday morning will never arrive? Fucking delusional assholes.
Most people complain about Mondays because they hate their jobs and dread the notion of another week starting and the monotony of their jobs. If you like your job and enjoy what you do, Mondays would not be such a fucking ordeal for you. And I would not have to hear your fucking whining about it.
Tomorrow morning, wake up, get ready, get on the fucking train (or get in your car) and get to work. You will like it and you will enjoy it.
Enough of your fucking whining!
Thanksgiving has just passed and Christmas is upon us. And I don’t give a shit. It’s the same crap every year and it doesn’t get any better. Everyone whips themselves into a frenzy over shopping and doing things bigger and better than the year before. It’s a complete fucking waste of time.
And, the commute isn’t any different. This is the time of the year when the maniacs are out in full force. Everyone forgets their manners and they turn into animals. The trains suddenly spawn conspicuous (and most likely fake) delays. The trains also fill up with day trippers and tourists who don’t know where the fuck they are going. They constantly ask you questions “Does this train stop at bla bla bla?”. Yeah it does you fucking asshole. It stops right up your ass.
Why do people turn into steaming piles of mannerless shit during this time of the year? Instead of this time of the year being the time and peace and love and tolerance and goodwill to everyone, people move in the opposite direction.
I’ve had enough. If anyone fucks with me this month, they’re gonna get it. I am not going to hold my tongue. It already started earlier this week with people and their gargantuan fucking bags slamming themselves into already crowded train cars. Then having the fucking balls to ask me to give them more room when I’m already in the corner of the vestibule with no place else to go. You want room? You want an easy ride? You wait for the next fucking train. I was here first. I’m not moving for you asshole.
I can’t wait to see what comes next! It’s always a fucking adventure.
One thing I will never understand about riding the Fail Road is the people who cram into the first few cars of the train. They have no regard for the people who are already on the train. They just push their way in and stand there like nothing happened. These people are shit-brained assholes. If they just gave themselves 10 extra minutes for their commute they most likely wouldn’t have to do this. But no. They slam their way into the car with their fucking rolling bags, beer held in their extended arm and have the fucking nerve to say “Please excuse me”.
And don’t get me started on the rolling cases. They’re a fucking menace. They are unsafe at any size. And the people who drag these abominations around will forever be the object of my scorn, derision and ill feelings. I don’t care if you have one, JUST DON’T ROLL OVER MY FUCKING FEET!
And, if you’re gonna have one of these, don’t slam your way inside of an already crowded car and use it as a battering ram to get an extra millimeter of space.
Idiots! All of you! Get the fuck out of my way!
It’s been two weeks since I started my new job. And it’s been two weeks since I’ve been going through Penn Station again. Everything old is new again. I don’t miss it one bit.
Everything I hated about it from the past is still there. The slow moving people, the smell that never seems to go away, the usual choke points, the drone of the disembodied voice making announcements. I hate ALL OF IT.
The good news is after the first couple of weeks, I have worked out the “kinks” with the new commute. All the shortcuts and cheats have been identified, tested and verified.
However, the only thing that gets in the way of a successful execution of the plan every morning is the idiots that infest the every day commute. The other commuters are unorganized, uncaring, frazzled, and foolish dolts.
If you see there’s no room in a car, go to another one. Don’t smash your way into it. It’s not like there will be no other fucking trains. Just wait a few minutes and try another one. If you don’t have that extra few minutes, it’s not my fucking problem. You should be leaving earlier to account for things like that.
And, if you carry a large back or backpack, please take it off when you’re in the train. When your bag slams into me I do not appreciate it. It’s annoying and it shows that you have no fucking manners. Keep the bag on the floor and away from everyone. If you don’t want to put your bag on the floor, then that is also not my problem. I don’t care if you have a Louis Vuitton bag and don’t want to get it dirty. If it’s in the way, GET IT ON THE FLOOR.
Also, there seem to be many more strollers on the trains going downtown to 14th street from Penn Station. These seem to be mainly nannies with children they are watching, but I don’t know where they are going. Baby yoga classes?
Other than that, I have no problems. As I always say, I’d probably be a much more calm and tolerant person if I didn’t have to endure a commute every day. The day when a commute won’t be necessary will be a long time coming.
I’m not holding my breath.
This Monday, I start a new job. It will be at a better company, with better pay, more opportunity for advancement and learning and hopefully a LOT more professional.
I just thought it was time for a change for myself personally and for my career. This time had come and the change had to be done.
Before starting the new job, I have a couple of days off and I immediately noticed something the NIGHT that I arrived home from my last day. There was an immediate calmness that came over me. The usual anxiety and nervousness was gone. The anticipation, dread and loathing of the next day was gone. To myself I thought, “Why is that? Why do I suddenly feel this way? I left a job I was comfortable in, going to a new one where I will be doing new things, I’ll be the “new guy”…Why am I so calm?”
The only reason for feeling this way could be that knowing there would be five days without a commute was subconsciously calming and liberating. Could this be true? Do other people feel that way? Is this something that is real?
Is it possible to dread your commute more than your job? Judging by the way I feel the last few days, I am starting to think that is 100% true.
The Pope has come and now the Pope has gone. The historic visit was over and your whining should be over too.
Something like this does not happen often. Yes, there were some inconveniences. Yes some things could have been planned better. But on the whole, it was a historic event and we all should have been honored to have been able to experience it.
The train problems especially at Penn are easily overlooked considering the crap that we deal with on a daily basis. Who knows, maybe the Pope’s presence proved a literal blessing and will alleviate things a bit until the real fixes are put in place.
Please stop your whining. Be happy for once. ABOUT SOMETHING.
LIFE ON THE FAIL ROAD 