plfailroad

The roads were empty. No school buses. No parents waiting with their kids in their massive SUV’s with their kids for the bus. No morons lingering at the stop light. It was free and clear. I got to the station in less than 2 minutes this morning. It took me longer to walk from my car to the station from the lot than it did to drive there. I wish every morning was like this.

If anyone from my area is reading this, please, do the same tomorrow. Stay the hell off the roads. Let your whiny, over-protected kids walk for once. I had to walk, my parents had to walk, my friends had to walk…so can they.

Of course, the bliss that was so fleeting early this morning was once again shattered by the Fail Road…

<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5131728668895211266" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/55a65992e4b084ed3d3583d3/55a66439e4b0b654c5984181/55a6643ae4b0b654c59841ed/1436968013375//img.jpg about two minutes, then it started again. All we heard was "I don't give a shit man, pay me"…"You had me walking around Brooklyn for three days without my money", "Am I as stupid as I look? Why are you lying to me", "You are disappointing me, I thought I could trust you man"….and on and on and on. All the while, this asshole is getting stares, people asking him to shut up, etc…he just ignores them.

Enough already. Enough of this bullshit. All you have to do is be “disabled” and all the rules are thrown out the window.

If you take the Fail Road, you already know that a woman (disabled) drove her car onto the tracks at the Roslyn Ave. crossing in Mineola. The train then hit her car, but not before an off duty NYPD cop and off duty firefighter pulled her to safety. The woman (who is disabled) had her car ruined. Over 25,000 people were inconvenienced. And, she complained that she wasn’t able to get her pocketbook. I’ll spare you the rest of the details.

What the fuck is going on here? The woman (disabled) is pissed off because the two Samaritans who pulled her to safety wouldn’t let her get her fucking POCKETBOOK before the train tossed her fucking Buick like it was a toy. If I was her, I’d kiss their asses for saving her life. Then, I’d apologize to the thousands of people who she made late. Then, she should thank God himself because she’s still alive and she wasn’t scattered along Roslyn Road.

Also, as you may have noticed, I referred to this woman as (disabled). Apparently all the news outlets have decided that the fact that this woman was disabled has contributed to this incident. The woman needed the aid of crutches to help her walk. This (apparently) also contributed to her not being able to exit the vehicle. It also had something to do with her driving onto the tracks. Someone please tell me how this is possible? What does her being “disabled” have to do with her having her head so far up her ass she not only almost got herself killed, but inconvenienced thousands. Never mind the fact that her little “mistake” could have caused a derailment that could have hurt hundreds and caused who knows how much damage.

It’s people like this woman that should not be allowed to have a license. In fact, elect me, and I’ll make sure they’re not even permitted in public.

Can someone please explain to me how crutches can drive?

One of these days, just one of these days, the Fail Road will get it right…

Every night, when I change trains at Jamaica, there’s a fiasco. I get off the 5:04 from Penn (to Hempstead) to get on my train to WH. The 5:04 arrives on track 8…the WH train is on Track 7. There’s also a transfer to Port Jefferson on track 6. The WH train on track 7 can be used as a bridge to track 6. Sounds simple enough right? If you have to take the PJ train, just walk across the platform…simple…wrong.

Instead, what happens every night is just short of a stampede. The PJ train arrives on track 6…the WH on track 7, the Hempstead on track 8. So, if you need to go track 6 just walk through the train on track 7….But no, instead, the sheeple get off the train, WALK UP OR DOWN THE PLATFORM, then find a door THEN WALK THROUGH THE TRAIN. Wouldn’t it just be easier to just walk DIRECTLY across the goddamn platform? Of course not. Not only is the Fail Road run by assholes, but 90% of its riders are assholes as well. Why do things right when you can do them ass-backward?

On top of all that, there are sheeple waiting to get on the Hempstead train who crowd the fucking doors like they’re giving away food at a refugee camp in Africa. And, there’s the usual drunks milling around the bar cart and more people running THROUGH the WH train on track 7 to transfer to the Hempstead train on track 8. Some nights it resembles a cluster fuck of humanity.

It gets better. With all of this going on, there are still trains that have to leave. The train on track 7 has it’s doors opened on both sides. Keep in mind there are people running all over the place. More than likely you’ll hear one of the “voices of Jamaica” proclaim “last call for the train to WH”…and the sheeple start scrambling. Yet, the conductor only pokes his head out the window. The voice starts again…”last call….”…more scrambling, sometimes there are people yelling “HOLD THE DOORS OPEN!”….but the doors never closed. On top of all this, there’s always some idiot who stops dead on the platform, IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING DOORS WITH A SUITCASE staring at the overhead signs asking people IS THIS THE PAWT JEFFUHSON TRAIN? No it’s not you dumb bitch, is that track 6, can’t you hear the fucking announcements? Get out of my way, I have a train to get on….

My question is: do the idiots making the announcements know what the hell is going on down on the platforms? They can see what’s going on from their room on the platform where they hide (I mean work). How much longer does this have to go on? I keep saying it’s the “little things” the Fail Road should concentrate on. This is one of them.

The solution? Don’t give the last call announcement until the train is ready to leave. The train doesn’t leave for up to three minutes sometimes after the “last call” announcement is made. And, make it only once, about a minute before the train leaves. It would make things much easier and ease the pandemonium at the platform.

Of course, the solution is too simple. If you ask the Fail Road nitwits about this, first they’ll say, “we’ll look into it”…then they’ll do nothing…then they’ll “investigate”…then they’ll hire a consultant (with a huge fee) who’ll tell them almost exactly what I proposed (with a lot more fancy words)…and then they’ll say they will change things at Jamaica…but instead go back to their old ways.

Why change things, you’ve already got us by the balls….

It’s fall. The weather is getting cooler. The leaves are starting to fall. That means problems because of “slip slide”. If it’s as bad as it was last year, we are in trouble.

As we were rolling in this morning, through the rain, I noticed the leaves were starting to change color. This means, soon they’ll start falling. Then they will wind up on the tracks…where the trains will run over them, causing “slip slide” conditions. The results are flat wheels and cars that are out of service. That also means short trains and a return to the rolling sardine cans of last fall/winter. Last year, this was a pain in the ass. It seemed like every train was short at least 2 cars. I heard there were some trains short FOUR CARS!!! Typical Fail Road.

Since the leaves cannot be controlled, one would hope the Fail Road fixed their “system” so that if a car has to be taken out of service, it’s not out of service for what feels like 2 months. Hopefully the “clear cut” campaign is successful and this doesn’t happen as much this year.

However, this is the Fail Road we’re talking about. If the same thing as last year occurs, it would not surprise me at all.

The Fail Road has hit a new low. This time, our money was wasted to print up fliers to tell us things we should ALREADY KNOW. Yet, since most Fail Road riders are too fucking dumb to know this shit already, the Fail Road felt the need to print these fliers. Click on them to enlarge.

Do we really need our Rail Road to tell us NOT TO CROSS THE TRACKS EXCEPT AT CROSSING? Or to be aware of small children on the train or to GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY OF PEOPLE AS THEY TRY TO EXIT THE TRAIN? These things should be innate. They should be self explanatory. If not, they should be learned through observed behavior.

Yet, since the average Fail Road rider has the brain of a fuckin‘ gnat, the powers that be of our beloved Fail Road felt the need to print these pieces of garbage. If you can’t figure out that the people that are ALREADY ON THE TRAIN need to leave BEFORE YOU GET ON, then not only should you be beaten profusely about the head but your stature as a “normal” member of society should be questioned. GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONES, LOOK DOWN, AND DON’T BE SO FUCKIN‘ STUPID.

From now on, I’d like to say this to all dimwits and pea-brains who ride the Fail Road:

I WANT you to cross the tracks everywhere BUT the crossings. I WANT you to push your way into the car before everyone has left. I WANT you to fall through the gaps. Maybe you’ll meet Mr Clifford and he’ll finish off the job…

Not a good day on the Fail Road. There are no good days on the Fail Road, but this one was one of the worst in the last month. Let’s start from this morning and work our way to the afternoon.

This morning, I had to take the 7:36, which goes directly to Penn. Not bad, right? Single seat, all the way in…Wrong. I could have taken the 7:17, but I was held up by some gardener’s truck down my block that couldn’t figure out how to make a fucking 3-point turn. I could have turned around, but by the time I got down the block and made a left onto the avenue…I would have been late.

I finally get past the truck when I’m once again stonewalled by the beloved school buses I wrote about the other day. By this time it’s already 7:15 and I know I’m gonna be late. So, I just say “Fuck it…just get to the damn station”.

I get to the station around 7:17. I park in the lot…I wait for a little bit because they don’t open the doors of the train until 7:25 some days. I get to the platform around 7:20…the train is ready, waiting, BEGGING for us to take a seat so it can get on with its only duty in life, to transport us, the riding public. But wait! The doors are closed. The lights on the side of the train are flashing…someone is doing a brake test! Oh shit! I look at the guy next to me, he says “Brake test”….I say…”we’re gonna be late”, he nods. These are probably the same nods exchanged between prisoners against a wall preparing for death by firing squad. Then, we hear an announcement…”The 7:36 to Penn Station stopping at *bla bla bla*…will be operating with fewer cars today, please move to the center of the platform to board”….Fewer cars? We see eight! Let us on!

Finally, we see a Fail Road member, in a hoodie…laughing merrily along the platform. Definitely a crew member, paid by the hour…gotta love those Unions, eh? Someone asks him the obvious, “Is the train cancelled?”…we hear “In a minute!”…Yeah…will we know the train’s status in a minute? Will you answer us in a minute? Do you not give a shit?

Then, the rear two cars get unhooked and are pushed farther down to the end of the track. The remaining six cars are inched up more and go through more “brake tests”. Finally, it’s about 7:

It’s now about 7:30. Still more brake tests. Finally! The doors open! But no explanation as to why the short train.

We get on. We sit there until about 7:42. Are we waiting for any passing trains? What the fuck are we waiting for? No answers, nothing. At least we left.

Since this was a 6 car (6 fucking car) train direct train to Penn, it was crowded by the time we picked up the Westwood passengers. By the time we got to Jamaica, it was like a sardine can. We got to Jamaica late (what else to expect?). We finally arrive at Penn around 8:37 instead of 8:29. No, “sorry we’re late” announcements. I finally arrive at the office around 8:50 (once I negotiated the Pedestrian Spam of 7th Avenue)….

And this was only the morning.

I left on the 4:19, a double-decker (see left). It goes to Port Jeff…change at Jamaica for home. The fun begins at Penn. I see suitcases! Big ones! Rolling ones! Big ones being pulled by small people! Shit! The next thing I know, there’s some Indian woman blathering away on her cellphone and she drags this 1000lb. rolling case into the train. Keep in mind from Penn to Jamaica I usually stand in a vestibule because a) I can’t be bothered to fight for a seat, I’ll leave that to the rest of the idiots, and b) the seats are uncomfortable…I’ve been sitting all day anyway, I’ll stretch my legs. So, this woman parks her rolling case right in the middle of the vestibule. If anyone was coming up the steps or into the train, they would have fallen over this case. Also, the damn thing is blocking me because her goddamn cell phone conversation is so fucking interesting, I am invisible. I look at her as to say, “move the goddamn case, it’s in the way and not in a good spot”…she ignores me. Oh well. She’s still talking on the phone and making funny faces and waving down to the lower level where her kid and husband are sitting. Nice.

Then, more people came on with even bigger bags (and tried to stuff them into the overheads). I wish I had a camera. You fucking morons! Please, please Fail Road, BAN THESE LARGE SUITCASES FROM THE TRAIN OR FORCE PEOPLE WHO BRING THEM ON TO PAY A “PENALTY”. They are dangerous, take up space and have no place on a train. If your case is bigger than you…..YOU NEED TO BRING LESS SHIT AND YOU NEED TO CALL A CAB, IT DOESN’T BELONG ON A FUCKING TRAIN.

We finally get to Jamaica and I change for the train home. It’s supposed to arrive at 5:06…it arrives at 5:13. Late again. No announcement, no apology. This train has been late the last 5 times I have taken it. I take it about once every two weeks. Sometimes less.

Why can’t the Fail Road just get it right? Just once? Just get it right, please?

Thanks Fail Road. And thanks to the assholes who ride it, bring in your furniture next time. Have a great weekend.

My time wasted by the Fail Road this week, 45 minutes….

Every morning, we get on ovens with seats that get us to work. They’re not train cars, they’re OVENS. For whatever reason, the heat has been on this week in our beloved Fail Road cars. Why is the heat on? It has been chilly in the mornings this week, but it is also very humid. This makes it feel much hotter in the cars.

Also, (for me in the mornings), the train is closed for a while before we get on. The air is stagnant. Blasting more hot stuffy air into it will not make things any better. Asking the conductor to make it cooler is worthless. You’re either met with a grunt or they ignore you.

I don’t think it’s asking too much to have the temperature regulated to a normal level. If they can’t give us good service, if they can’t get us to work or home on-time on a regular basis, if they don’t tell us what’s going on when we don’t move for 5-10 minutes…if they can’t make our commute without insanity and drama, then the least those nitwits can do is turn a nob.

If you read this, you must be thinking that I am constantly pissed off. That is not entirely true. At times, I am always pissed off. Most of the time, I just tolerate things. There’s not much I can do. If I did, there would be a long line of victims in my wake.

Sometimes people tell me to be “happy”. I am “happy”. My idea of “happy” is different from most people. For me to be truly happy, everything would have to stop being such a goddamn ordeal. Inconsequential things like driving to the train station, the trip on the train, the idiots I have to deal with on the train, the Lead Footed Pedestrian Spam of 7th Avenue…little things like that. That’s all I ask. Do you jobs, shut up, and get out of my way. Is that too much to ask?

I try not to be too “happy” anyway. If you’re happy for too long, you’re only setting yourself for the inevitable disappointment. It’s better not to expect too much. All you get is shit anyway. Once in a while when things actually make sense and work out in your favor, it’s a nice surprise. But, don’t let that go to your head because someone, somewhere will fuck it all up all over again.

Now, I am “happy”. I’m getting ready to watch a hockey game (it’s a Devils game but it’s better than nothing. The real hockey team in New York, the Rangers, are on tomorrow). And, C.S.I.: New York is on later. How much better can it get? Sure enough, tomorrow morning will be upon us and I’ll have to take out the shovel once again and deal with the garbage the day thrusts upon me.

I know this is a blog about the Fail Road, but I’m gonna go a little OT today. I can…it’s my blog. And, it’s good to go off-track once in a while, it makes you focus more when you’re back on track.

So, onto the school buses….

Why does it seem like every school bus blocks traffic? I know they transport our chilllldrennnnn and all, but get them off the roads, please. They are big, lumbering, and driven by morons. To make things worse, because they transport our chilllldrennnnn it gives their parents the right to take over our streets and make our lives much harder than they should be.

I’m not sure about where you live, but in my town, starting the Wednesday after Labor Day, you can kiss your easy ride to work goodbye. You cannot escape them. They’re out…they’re in the street, and they’re clogging up everything. The buses, the chilllldrennnn, and their idiot parents. It’s not bad enough that the buses block traffic when they pick up the chilllldrennn, but their PARENTS do the same.

The parents are out of control. And the chilllldrennnn are not much better. The parents wait with their offspring in their cars, about a foot or two off the curb. They block traffic. Their chillldrennnn don’t get out of the car until the bus stops. They walk slow to the bus. We all wait. Since when did having children give you permission to take over? Your chilllldrennnnn should be your responsibility. They should not be my impediment. You had them, you deal with them.

I don’t remember anyone waiting with their kids in the car at the bus stop when I was in school. Is waiting on the corner for a SCHOOL BUS become that unsafe? Since when?

This is just another case of people forcing their lifestyle choices on me. I don’t care if you have chilllldrennnnn or not, I just don’t have to deal with them. If your kid can’t wait at the bus stop by themselves for a few minutes in the morning, then you’re doing a bad job. You’re raising a fucking lamb. And, if they get roughed up, big fucking deal, it’ll make them tougher. (I doubt this last part, but they all could use a little hardship.)

Please parents, don’t make your chillldrennnn my problem. They’re yours. When I have mine, I won’t expect anyone else to bend to me.

To get back OT….my trains were rolling ovens today….can we do something about that?

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LIFE ON THE FAIL ROAD

MY TRIALS, TRIBULATIONS AND OBSERVATIONS ON THE LIRR…AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT CROSSES MY MIND

Author: plfailroad

It Was Like August This Morning….

“You Be Quiet, Shaddup!…But I Can Do What I Want”….

How can crutches drive?

Changing At Jamaica….

Slip-Slide

We’re Not THAT Stupid…Are We?

Friday’s Crap…

Ovens With Seats

Unhappy…

School Buses…