The Stairs Are Crowded…So Let’s Keep Pushing!

 The above picture is not an LIRR staircase from the Penn Station platforms, but it may as well be. 
The above picture is not an LIRR staircase from the Penn Station platforms, but it may as well be. 

Every morning, without fail, no matter what platform the train arrives at in Penn Station, the same fucking things happen. There’s always the few people who stand up in the train at Woodside, ready to run out the doors. Then there’s the rolling case asshole who pushes his way through the vestibule to position himself near a door, again to make a quick exit. And finally, there’s the clueless ones who usually spend 3/4 of the ride singing along to their fucking shit music on their crap Apple earbuds and realize the train is about the enter Penn, so they just stand there with a clueless look on their face.

As the train doors open, there’s a mad rush to the stairs. The platform we arrive on does not matter. The distance to the stairs does not matter. The amount of people does not matter. Every fucking day it’s the same thing. Too many people, jamming their way onto narrow staircases. At this point, hilarity ensues.

The cripples usually push their way to the front of the mob. Then they hold up the entire fucking line because they can’t climb the steps like everyone else. Then there’s the multiple bags people. How the fuck can you go up the steps if you can’t even walk on flat ground because you’re carrying so much fucking shit!?!?! And there’s always the loud phone talkers who feel that their phones are different and will get a signal on the Penn platforms because THEIR CALL IS SO MUCH MORE FUCKING IMPORTANT THAN EVERYONE ELSE’S…

Me? I just wait for the crowd to thin out. I just can’t be bothered to get in the middle of that mass of humanity. What is their fucking rush? They’re all going to the same place. In fact, I sometimes wait up to three minutes for the crowd to thin out on the steps before making my way down the platform. Sometimes, I see the same people who pushed their way to the front just then making their way up the steps to the 1 train subway platform.

Please, be polite. Show that you have fucking manners. Be patient and let everyone use the steps like a normal person. THIS HAS TO STOP!

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