One of these days, just one of these days, the Fail Road will get it right…
Every night, when I change trains at Jamaica, there’s a fiasco. I get off the 5:04 from Penn (to Hempstead) to get on my train to WH. The 5:04 arrives on track 8…the WH train is on Track 7. There’s also a transfer to Port Jefferson on track 6. The WH train on track 7 can be used as a bridge to track 6. Sounds simple enough right? If you have to take the PJ train, just walk across the platform…simple…wrong.
Instead, what happens every night is just short of a stampede. The PJ train arrives on track 6…the WH on track 7, the Hempstead on track 8. So, if you need to go track 6 just walk through the train on track 7….But no, instead, the sheeple get off the train, WALK UP OR DOWN THE PLATFORM, then find a door THEN WALK THROUGH THE TRAIN. Wouldn’t it just be easier to just walk DIRECTLY across the goddamn platform? Of course not. Not only is the Fail Road run by assholes, but 90% of its riders are assholes as well. Why do things right when you can do them ass-backward?
On top of all that, there are sheeple waiting to get on the Hempstead train who crowd the fucking doors like they’re giving away food at a refugee camp in Africa. And, there’s the usual drunks milling around the bar cart and more people running THROUGH the WH train on track 7 to transfer to the Hempstead train on track 8. Some nights it resembles a cluster fuck of humanity.
It gets better. With all of this going on, there are still trains that have to leave. The train on track 7 has it’s doors opened on both sides. Keep in mind there are people running all over the place. More than likely you’ll hear one of the “voices of Jamaica” proclaim “last call for the train to WH”…and the sheeple start scrambling. Yet, the conductor only pokes his head out the window. The voice starts again…”last call….”…more scrambling, sometimes there are people yelling “HOLD THE DOORS OPEN!”….but the doors never closed. On top of all this, there’s always some idiot who stops dead on the platform, IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING DOORS WITH A SUITCASE staring at the overhead signs asking people IS THIS THE PAWT JEFFUHSON TRAIN? No it’s not you dumb bitch, is that track 6, can’t you hear the fucking announcements? Get out of my way, I have a train to get on….
My question is: do the idiots making the announcements know what the hell is going on down on the platforms? They can see what’s going on from their room on the platform where they hide (I mean work). How much longer does this have to go on? I keep saying it’s the “little things” the Fail Road should concentrate on. This is one of them.
The solution? Don’t give the last call announcement until the train is ready to leave. The train doesn’t leave for up to three minutes sometimes after the “last call” announcement is made. And, make it only once, about a minute before the train leaves. It would make things much easier and ease the pandemonium at the platform.
Of course, the solution is too simple. If you ask the Fail Road nitwits about this, first they’ll say, “we’ll look into it”…then they’ll do nothing…then they’ll “investigate”…then they’ll hire a consultant (with a huge fee) who’ll tell them almost exactly what I proposed (with a lot more fancy words)…and then they’ll say they will change things at Jamaica…but instead go back to their old ways.
Why change things, you’ve already got us by the balls….
LIFE ON THE FAIL ROAD 
The best is when the morons with the cellphones glued to their empty heads or iPods blaring get on the train and find out it’s not the “Hempstead” train. The “Hempstead” train is the one they just got off (hahahahah). I sometimes give false info, especially to the assholes who ask me a question while they are still on their fucking cell phones. That pisses me off. I told one of those morons once that to get to the Port Jeff train he had to go back to Penn and wait for a direct train because they don’t stop at Jamaica. Next thing I hear is “OHHH SHIT!” and I see him run up the steps…One guy on the train told me I was a mean bastard (but he was still laughing). Another guy said he had it coming…Me? I was hoping he’d fall through the gap. GET OFF YOUR FUCKING CELL PHONE WHEN YOU SPEAK TO ME.
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Maybe they want people to get onto the train as fast as possible. and if they wait until one min before it leaves you will still have the same “pandemonium ” problem, only now it will delay the train because people will take longer to figure out what the fuck they are doing. there will always be masses of people at jamaica who have no idea what they are doing, i would just be glad that you are one of the few people who get it and knows whats going on, just take pleasure in there confusion, i sometimes give bogus info just for kicks, like i will say “yes this is the train to Port Jeff” even though it is an M7 train and the LED sign says West Hempstead, it will make there journey more interesting. Besides, they wont figure it out until they get to WH anyway and then they ask “is port jeff next?” the look on there face is priceless when they realize where they are. Try it sometime.
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