The October edition of the Fail Road’s propaganda rag is out. It’s called “Keeping Track”. Keeping track of what, exactly? Keeping track of what a terrible job they have done in the past month? Apologizing for the multitude of bullshit delays we passengers have to endure? No. Instead, they kiss their own asses and publish lies.
This month, it leads off with the results of a report commissioned by President Helena Williams. When Ms. Williams’ term started as LIRR President, she commissioned a report to assess the “state of the LIRR“. First, the report was a waste of time because you don’t need a report to see what’s wrong with this half-assed operation. Second, the report was by an EX-MNRR President Donald N. Nelson. There wasn’t anyone else available for the report? Were all their other MTA cronies busy? Wasted money.
Here is a scan of the October Issue of “Keeping Track”:
(click to enlarge)
Check out the “On-Time Monthly Performance” section. These numbers are fabricated. How is it possible that OTP (On-Time Performance) for my branch was BETTER this year. I can tell you that the trains I take are REGULARLY late. More than the 6 minute window the Fail Road allows itself. Yet, the Fail Road propaganda machine is hard at work, publishing false numbers.
For a good laugh check out the section “The State Of Your Rail Road”…who writes this stuff? “The Rail Road was given high marks for customer service”? BY WHO!? “The management teams seem to be rejuvenated, and employees were motivated with generally good morale”… what a load of crap. The Fail Road management was never “juvenated” so they never needed to be “rejuvenated“. It also states “The Fail Road is probably in better condition than at anytime in its history”….WHAT? If it’s in such good condition then why the hell are there so many delays? Who the hell wrote this? What the hell were they studying?
This whole pamphlet is full of worthless babble. Like the poem titled “Courtesy”…WHO THE HELL APPROVED THIS GARBAGE? Instead of publishing cutesy poems about not taking up seats, they should have added “Hello fellow morons, don’t put your feet on the seats, you wouldn’t do it at home, so don’t do it on the goddamn trains.”. Instead poems and self-ass-kissing, why not publish profuse apologies about the terrible service they provided in the last month? Why not abolish the “6 minute” rule and publish the REAL ON TIME PERFORMANCE NUMBERS. This way, we can all see what a terrible operation the Fail Road is.
To top it all off, there’s a blurb about making passengers already on the train get off first BEFORE YOU TRY TO GET ON…Shouldn’t our esteemed, well-educated, affluent passengers KNOW THAT ALREADY? It’s disgusting.
I can’t wait until the next issue of “Keeping Track”. What will be in it next? Everything but the truth…
LIFE ON THE FAIL ROAD 
you should keep a log of exactly what trains you take, and the exact time they arrive in west hempstead (make sure your watch is 100% on time). also, for the am peak trains you would have to take the train from west hempstead to its final destination to see how often they are late, if you get off at jamaica and that train continues onto flatbush and gets there on time, that train is on time no matter how long it takes you to get to penn. i would really be interested to see the results posted on your blog. think about it, this way you can write to the RR and give them proof that their numbers are wrong.
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i think one thing your forgetting is that if you take a train from west hempstead and you have to change at jamaica because that train goes to Flatbush, your train is timed as “on-time” as long as it gets to Flatbush within 6-min, NOT whether or not you (the person who got off at jamaica) gets to penn station within 6 min. maybe that is skewing your experience.
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