These big, bad gaps have been present on the Fail Road for at least 40 years in some places. Why is it that people have only started falling through them in the past year and a half? Did everyone lose their balance and intelligence at the same time? Or, can we blame Newsday for blowing the whole Natalie Smead incident out of proportion? Maybe there’s a correlation between the attention Newsday has brought to this “gap problem” and the fact that the MTA/Fail Road has stopped advertising in Newsday’s pages…hmmmmm…Btw, a report found Smead to be at fault, but whatever.

The gap has been there probably for longer than we have all been taking the damn trains. They are there, so YOU have to pay attention. Turn off your iPods. Turn off your cell phones. Stop reading while you walk. Pick up your feet when you walk. If your luggage is too heavy to pick up, YOU SHOULDN’T BRING IT ON TO THE TRAIN. And, just PAY ATTENTION. It’s that simple. The Fail Road should not have to remind the passengers every two minutes to “Watch the Gap” with those idiotic on-train announcements. They should not have to waste OUR MONEY to plaster every square inch of free station space with those awful “Watch the Gap” signs. They shouldn’t have to do anything. It’s the duty of the passengers to LOOK DOWN…

I would love to conduct a “gap test”. This test would take place at the big bad Syosset station (the same one that mercilessly sucks unwitting passengers into the deep, dark abyss). I will call it the “Money Bag” test. I will take the same people who fell through (or stepped into) the “gap” back to the Syosset station. I will place them on the platform. I will place a $100 bill on the floor of the train. I will then tell them to get that $100 bill (which will require them to step over the gap!!!). I guarantee you 100% of the time NOBODY WILL FALL THROUGH.

Hopefully, the Fail Road will wise up and let me conduct this test.

Look out!!! THE GAP IS GONNA SUCK YOU IN!!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHA….

GAPS!!!! LOOK OUT! 😉