Thanks again, fellow idiots (I mean commuters) for making me late again tonight. Especially you cretins on my train to WH tonight going home. The train was supposed to arrive at 5:55. Instead, we arrived at 6:02. Only 7 minutes late you say? No big deal, right? At least you got home…
The reason we were late was because nobody listens to the goddamn announcements. There are short platforms on my branch. The first two cars do NOT PLATFORM going East. The LAST TWO cars do not platform going West. On the way home, the conductor makes periodic announcements that the FIRST TWO CARS do not platform at Westwood, Malverne, Lakeview and Hempstead Gardens stations. The really good conductors even give you WHICH CAR NUMBERS will NOT platform at the above stations. After Westwood (where the first two cars do not platform) there’s even an announcement (most times) where the conductor says, “IF YOUR CAR DID NOT PLATFORM AT WESTWOOD IT WILL NOT PLATFORM AT MALVERNE, LAKEVIEW, OR HEMPSTEAD GARDENS, PLEASE WALK BACK).
You must be saying, “So what’s the problem?” The problem is that NOBODY PAYS ATTENTION. We were late again tonight because no less than 5 people had to run through two cars because they didn’t hear the announcements. One idiot was even standing there while the platform flies by. He’s still standing there (staring at the ballast on the trackbed) WAITING FOR THE DOORS TO OPEN…until someone says, “Hey, the doors don’t open here”….”OH SHIT!”, the cretin says…as he runs through the car (rolling case trailing behind) screaming, “HOLD THE DOORS!”….On the inside I’m screaming too “YOU FUCKING TOOL! TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING IPOD!”.
This happened at Westwood, Lakeview and Hempstead Gardens. The idiot at Hempstead Gardens couldn’t fit his goddamn rolling case between the seats. And, it was too heavy to lift, so he just pushed it through WHILE THE REST OF THE TRAIN WAITED…AND WAITED….AND WAITED…un–fuckin‘-believable. While he’s sweating and grunting to get the case through he kept saying, “I didn’t hear any announcements…ha ha ha”….YOU ASSHOLE. ALL WE HEARD WERE ANNOUNCEMENTS.
The moral of this story, PAY ATTENTION. Pay attention to the train announcements, pay attention to your conductor. As much as you may hate the man/woman who takes your tickets, when they say something, LISTEN TO IT. It could make a lot of people happier and get home on time.
But no. Everyone has to be special. Everyone has to do what they want. Everyone else has to follow the rules but they are immune. Everyone doesn’t want to have their feelings hurt by being told what to do. Go fuck yourself. Shut up, turn off the iPod, pull your head out of your ass, and listen.
Not only would it make me happy, you will make a lot of other people smile too. They’ll be smiling because they’ll be home on time.
LIFE ON THE FAIL ROAD 
you are starting to get it my friend, the trains are not always delayed by us dopey employees, but they are also delayed just as much by your fellow clueless commuters.it gets better though, imagine you are the conductor who made all the proper announcement, 99% of the sheeple heard them and followed your instructions, now you get one nitwit who did not, and now he has missed his stop (lets say he was in the 10th car trying to get out at forest hills – first 4 cars only) so now he is yelling at you for his mistake. secretly though i find that very amusing, although at the time you have to say “yes, i’m sorry, it was all our fault”.my favorite is when they come up to you in a panicked look, take out the I-Pod headphones and then berate you about how there was no announcement…priceless.
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